Читать онлайн «Dave Barry in Cyberspace»

Автор Dave Barry

“SIDE-SPLITTING, MEGABYTE-SIZE HUMOR. ”

—St. Petersburg Times

—Atlanta Journal & Constitution

“The latest in Barry’s bestselling string of often riotously funny humor books. It proves that even geeks can get hopelessly lost in cyberspace, and he gives the rest of us a roadmap.

—The Cleveland Plain Dealer

“If you don’t love it … you’re in a distinct minority. ”

—Booklist

“Pointed and funny … A natural topic for a prize-winning humorist.

—Kirkus Reviews

“Nonstop humor … Whether you’re a computer whiz or a computer nerd, this tongue-in-cheek guide to computing by bestselling humorist Dave Barry has enough byte to keep you entertained. ”

—Publishers Weekly

“Hilariously imaginative. ”

—Library Journal

ALSO BY DAVE BARRY

The Taming of the Screw

Babies and Other Hazards of Sex

Stay Fit and Healthy Until You’re Dead

Claw Your Way to the Top

Bad Habits

Dave Barry’s Guide to Marriage and/or Sex

Homes and Other Black Holes

Dave Barry’s Greatest Hits

Dave Barry Turns 40

Dave Barry’s Only Travel Guide You’ll Ever Need

Dave Barry Talks Back

Dave Barry Does Japan

Dave Barry Is Not Making This Up

Dave Barry’s Complete Guide to Guys

Dave Barry’s Gift Guide to End All Gift Guides

Dave Barry’s Book of Bad Songs

Dave Barry Is from Mars and Venus

Dave Barry Turns 50

Big Trouble

Dave Barry Is Not Taking This Sitting Down

Dave Barry Hits Below the Beltway

A Fawcett Book

Published by The Random House Publishing Group

Published in the United States by Fawcett Books, an imprint of The Random House Publishing Group, a division of Random House, Inc. , New York, and simultaneously in Canada by Random House of Canada Limited, Toronto.

Fawcett is a registered trademark and the Fawcett colophon is a trademark of Random House, Inc.

Library of Congress Catalog Card Number: 97-90891

eISBN: 978-0-307-75868-2

This edition published by arrangement with Crown Publishers, Inc.

First Ballantine Books Edition: October 1997

v3. 1

For Hoobert and MsPtato

With special thanks to Crow

CONTENTS

Cover

Other Books by This Author

Title Page

Dedication

Introduction

Chapter 1: A Brief History of Computing from

Cave Walls to Windows 95

Not That This Is Necessarily Progress

Chapter 2: How Computers Work

Chapter 3: How to Buy and Set Up a Computer

Step One: Get Valium

Chapter 4: Becoming Computer Literate

Or: Words for Nerds

Chapter 5: Comdex

Nerdstock in the Desert

Or:Bill Gates Is Elvis

Chapter 6: Software

Making Your Computer Come Alive So It Can Attack You

Chapter 7: How to Install Software

A 12-Step Program

Chapter 8: Word Processing

How to Press an Enormous Number of Keys Without Ever Actually Writing Anything

Or: If God Had Wanted Us to Be Concise, He Wouldn’t Have Given Us So Many Fonts

Transforming Society and Shaping the Future, Through Chat

Or: Watch What You Write, Mr. Chuckletrousers Or: Why Suck Is OK, Blow Is Not